The ghost in my life. . .

Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm back in the Lion City, only to find myself haunted by both my past, guilt and lack of control.

My Past
Have I not suffered enough? For many many many many months, I have suffered and hurt so so so much. Why is it that when I've finally have the courage to move on, my past became my hindrance towards a future? Life's unfair I know, and that sucks, but to this extent? Am I not allowed to have a future just because of something I can't change?

My Guilt
No, I did not lie to you about a single thing at all. I was genuine and sincere, honest. But, as much as I claimed that I'm a good person, I upset you this time. Hence, this is my guilt, and I'm sorry.

My Lack of Control
I'm just human, yes, such a phrase seems too convenient, and very much like an excuse. However, undeniably, there are things I don't control, and I don't know what I can do for those things. All I know is, for things that I control, I will do them right.

Having said all those, sleep continues to elude me, despite me being wide awake throughout my whole journey back and being caught with a very sore throat. Please, stop thinking about this one thing, can? Just like in the movie Source Code, I wanna tell you, everything is gonna be alright.